My first trip to Africa in 1997 was a profound experience. I remember the hunger I felt as I set out to go, wanting to sink into the heart of that continent and hear deeply her rhythm. I couldn’t wait to get out of Nairobi and feel the beat of the land and the people who live close to the land.  Among other aspects of the journey, we did get to go into a village and stay there for 5 days.  I have a much longer writing elsewhere that describes this experience, but key to it is the fact that I became aware I was experiencing a fully prepared rite of passage which had been designed perfectly, in detail, by unseen forces. This became clear to me by some dramatic indicators.

They say if you want to know if a rite of passage took, see what happens in your life right after. Within two months of the return from that trip, life as I knew it shifted irrevocably deep underground, like tectonic plates moving to create a whole new geography. My 11-year old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, and my husband began a journey that led to the dissolution of our marriage and family life. I consistently said to myself after that, “It was Africa, something about Africa that precipitated all of this,” feeling as though her big hand had reached in underground and shook everything, shook it strong and hard. My doctoral dissertation entitled “Reawakening Indigenous Sensibilities in the Western Psyche” was born out of this. It began a very particular kind of journey for me.

Now I am back from Africa again, this having been my third trip. Again I sense her strong hand shaking hard at the roots of my being. I feel my bones shaking, my nerves and cells unsheathed. What will it be this time? I’m home not even a month yet, and already the unexpected is appearing. I may move from this mountain.  Something is pushing me, pulling me, expelling me, wanting me, just don’t know yet.

I must trust. Einstein said, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”  I want to stop, rest, but must keep moving, find the balance. Trust.