Blog pages have remained empty and silent as my outer life has been in transition and creative chaos. This weekend I spoke with an association of M.D.s and Integrative Health Practioners about the effects of the psyche on the body’s ability to heal, to balance hormones, absorb nutrients, achieve the goals of wellness. I experienced these doctors as refreshingly receptive, open and interested, not so usual in my experience. Afterward those of us who are renting offices in a new, charming facility in Weaverville – so far ayurvedic practioners, an RN and nutritionist and myself – met and decided to begin our work there under the umbrella name of Weaverville Natural Health Center. It was a positive and profound meeting. That evening I spent the first night in my new town and bedroom in that newly refurbished house turned healing center. I began the deep acquaintance with space and spirits who dwell there – people, trees, ancestors, all life. Coming down from the mountain into town in such a way is stretching me, stretching my sense of self and home.

Today, back home on the mountain, she felt a bit like a jealous god to me. Psychologists would call this a projection of my own feelings and anxieties onto the mountain, certainly true, but I also feel there is truth in the notion that when one becomes a familiar resident in the psychodynamic field of a place, to pull out in any way has consequences that effect that field and cause responses. Places are living spirits, with living energies not so unlike those of the human. We are a product of them and reflect them more than we know.

I was not unaware of this when I left to begin my day in my new place in town. I sat for the morning and spoke to this land and the spirit of my house, explaining what was going on, my intentions for creating a bridge and a way to support the work here on the mountain. I didn’t feel I was crazy. This felt normal, considerate and polite.

After returning, however, I felt a backlash, like my new towny rhythm is unfamiliar here, not yet welcome. I felt the mountain with icy claws in me today. She was covered the entire day with clouds and cold, without break. My spirit was tormented with demons. I laid low. It is Sunday, a day of rest – a biblical imperative even – so I tried to just listen to all of the demons and not fight them.

As humans we are not the separate entities that we often imagine ourselves to be, who can just go here and there without consideration for the spirits of the places we move through, and the need to maintain relationships with them that can be as demanding and important as our human ones. I am stretching myself across space now, and into new territories, asking for permission and assistance to make my home bigger and more diverse as a consequence.

This is a good journey. I’m on the home stretch.